The Night of Shadowed Past

by Maria Isabel Cecilia Pascual
(Philippines)

NIGHTFALL

She must be dreaming again...found herself kneeling on the grass were scattered petals of the Frangipani flowers had fallen, now crushed and had stained her white muslin skirt. Her hands moved as if it has a mind of its own, it fluidly skimmed on the ground surface to gather a handful of the flowers. Brought it against her cheek to drown her senses with its sweet delicate scent. After awhile her grip lessened, as if in slow motion each petal falls unto the ground one by one in unison with her tears that was brimming to burst since yesterday. It cascaded like an unstrung pearls against the pale color of her skin, reflecting the lustrous glow of the moon...Still seized with unknown grief, she gingerly brushed away the remaining tears from her eyes and few locks of hair that obscured her vision. Stared at the moon above, that looked like a huge disk of hammered gold against the midnight sky.

The old wise moon who had been for many centuries, bear witness to all matters and events on this earth. She gazed at it for a long, long time, as if it would answer all her queries all these years. Beseeching for an answer to all of these and the dreams that would visit her night after night. Was this just a dream or was this an old memory reliving and acting out itself?


Although how long nor how much she stared at the old wise moon above, it would not answer at all. Perhaps it's a guise blessing not knowing, to just silently move on without questioning.To go forward and not taking with you anything that the past has refused to give. With this thought in mind she unbended her knees, stood up straight and let go of a soft sigh. She walk past the trees that lined the garden and disappeared like a shadow in the night...



The night was still young, since sleep has evaded her again she decided to continue on walking amongst these trees in the forest, she did not dare ask anyone how long they've been here...Her only intention was to continue on her aimless stride, not caring how far or how much distance. Fate has given her no compassion nor forbearance. It doesn't matter now if she'll be able to find her way back home or if she'll reach the edge of this patch of land. The word home used to inflict so much hurt within her but not anymore, for she could no longer decipher the intensity and turmoil that surrounded her existence. It's a part of her now, just like these grand trees that adorned this wilderness.


The rustling sound of dried leaves under her feet broke the deafening silence, long branches swaying at the whim of the night wind... A sad bitter smile outlined her soft lips for even nature could show cruelness at times. There maybe some part of her mind she couldn't even reach, but she knows deep within her soul that she must have been molded with kindness and love during her childhood.



She continued on walking following the faint silver light from far ahead, it's like a glistening gem beckoning her to come... She ran as fast as she could until she saw this clearing. At the far end she thought she saw her again a woman dressed in a beautiful dress, her back turned against her,her long hair loose, adorned with jasmine flowers. Her head upturned, her arms outstretched towards the moon, as if beckoning, commanding it to do something.



What vision is this, she asked herself... Perhaps it's a good omen. She was silent for a while and then something lit her eyes and her mind spoke to her in a whisper and said ''A grief stricken heart ages much sooner, but with its aging comes maturity, wisdom and renewed strength. A will that may not be as hard as a tempered steel, but as resilient as the lowly bamboo... That can thrive anywhere even in a harsh and cruel world.'' These are just facts of life, she thought. It shall never weaken her stand at life and her faith... for every dark cloud that looms over, comes sunshine peeking through behind it... Shining magnificently with great might!

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