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Draupadi Is Being Sued

by Anukriti Pandey
(Mumbai, India)

Draupadi Is Being Sued.

Draupadi is being sued by Duryodhan.
She’s one to talk!
She with five husbands
She the temptress to him and Karan
She’s one to talk.

Look,
Men will be men.
Men will play.
It’s testosterone,
the thrill of winning and heckling
So men WILL play!
Couldn’t Draupadi have said NO
When Yudhishthira and Bros
put themselves before hoes
and gambled her?
Couldn’t Draupadi have said NO
When Mumma Kunti assumed
equal distribution and
forgot the human?

Now,
as Dusshasan dragged her
by her hair
by the edge
of her garment
of her patience,
Why listen to her screaming NO
Why indeed?!
Come on, strip her
Yes, expose her
Oh, do that in full family view
Uncles, cousins, husbands too
(Men whose testosterone
speaks for them all the time,
at this point in history
didn’t even mime!
But that’s a story for another rhyme)

Ugh
Bitch escaped narrowly though
Just like a Hindi film hero
Krishna showed up
with his bogus special effects.
The sari refusing to denude her
its length getting endless.
Meh. What a flop show.
(But then only a man could save
that wretched hoe)

And the nerve of that Draupadi!
Despite nothing happening
She seethed in anger
Faking humiliation she yelled
She abused the men
She accused the men
She caused the Mahabharata!
Can’t you see the real victim here
are the men,
those able sons of Bharata

Draupadi should have never left home
She should have
Never gone to school
Never gotten a job
Never gone to a party
Never worked late
Never drunk
Never worn that dress
Never had sex
Never loved more than one/once
Never laughed in public
Never
had
an
opinion.
Now she’s angry and annoying
So most logically and fairly
Draupadi is being sued by Duryodhan.