Distant Sillhouette-Chapter -12
by Tanuja Chatterjee
(Kolkata, India)
Back to - Chapter 11
Chapter 12 "No, I'm not hungry. I want to be with you." said June.
"Fine then. I'll wait downstairs, till you are finished with your studies and then we can be together and talk and laugh our lungs out." answered April with a broad smile, "Oh I almost forgot, It's time now! I'll be on my rounds of the wards...so take your time. O.K!"
April was the witness of the mysticity of life. Celebrating her reunion silently, she was in her state of euphoria and ecstasy. In spite of this sudden excitement, she couldn't forget to thank the lord and even said a silent prayer, offering gratitude from the depths of her heart. Returning to the silvery oak, she held it in her tight embrace and kissed it with all her might. The oak too understood and rejoiced...and the moments of life chimed away with brilliant radiant hope.The silver shine on the back of the otherwise green oak leaves sparkled in full glory, as if acknowledging the joys of her heart, which were full of pain and yearning till yesterday.
Every moment comes as a complete package deal of garbs and gifts. With so much of happiness came along the thoughts of Henery, flooding her heart, mind and soul completely. April fought back yet again. She desperately tried to jerk them away. Just then, June came out of the house, dressed in a green chiffon frock with beautiful smocking and heard April say "Go away!...just leave me alone...Go away,...will you! Then she hurriedly rushed towards the hospital.
Ramilla was taken aback. April's words pierced her, through and through. She felt the jolt and numb all over. She looked like a fairy in distress.
"What happened! Why is Mama so troubled! Does she want to test me more! Is my real test not over yet!" confused Ramilla wondered. She had to find out and so she too bent her steps towards the hospital, in her favourite green chiffon frock.
April was on her usual daily rounds of the wards where Ramilla wasn't allowed. So, she waited for her in April's chamber. It wasn't a long wait though, but Ramilla with her head on the table softly placed within the folds of her arms, dozed off to sleep. On finishing her rounds, April returned to her chamber and saw her little one sleeping silently, unaware of the high tides of her own heart. She came closer and lovingly ran her hand through Ramilla's hair and said "My baby...oh my baby!" Ramilla stayed unperturbed. Finally sitting down on her chair April stretched and pushed her head back gently to let it lie on the back rest of her chair. With legs stretched out in front, under the table, it was a relaxed pose...but a strange impatience consumed her. It appeared as if she was in a dream. She tried hard to get out of it but in vain! She couldn't resist the elements of her dream and felt strongly drawn towards it gradually. The poignancy of each moment pushed her deeper into those painful memories and soon she became a dream within a dream. Her resistance towards them made her utter"Go Away!" again and again, in quite loud cries.
Ramilla returned from her doze and saw April again in that troubled state.Through her half-closed eyes, she saw tears trickling down April's eyes. She was disturbed and got up from her place to come closer to April. Then noticing the pain on her face, she tried to shake her up from her sleep. Crying her self Ramilla said "What is it Mama...see I'm here ...with you now! Open your eyes and look at me....take my hand and feel me..Mama!"
April got up with a jerk and embraced Ramilla tightly and said "Don't cry baby! Don't. I'm sorry. My behaviour must have troubled you. These tears are too precious for me. Moreover, I've made a promise, I won't let you shed them ever again for I've done it enough....now no more. Fine! Remember, these are happy times!" April's smile returned with a pledge and Ramilla trusted it with her whole heart and returned the nod with an even brighter smile.
Indeed, The tempest had passed. But, what would April do with her memories of Henery....they kept on returning in flashes.
The rest of the day, the two stayed together. Their laughter reverberated in the air of Green Gate.
"It is so nice to see them together." thought Gearu Ram, as he came out into the lush green lawn and asked "Shall I get you some tea, memsahib... and snacks for Baby?" April and June nodded together, with grand smiles. Gearu smiled back and went in to fetch them something to munch as they talked. The sky looked brighter, without feathery canyons floating anywhere in sight and the earth much -much greener than before. Together they hugged their silvery shiny oak and kissed it tightly. Still holding the tree in their strong embrace they shared their unfathomable eternal joys. It was real fun.
"June, why are you so scared to enter Mark's room?' April asked. Ramilla fell silent.
"What happened! Answer me! Baby!"she poked her again.
"In that room Daddy left you and me ...and went away...never to return. I hate that room, I hate it." answered Ramilla with loud gestures.
The smiles and laughter died yet again. April had stepped on her most painful nerve .
"After he left and after I stopped crying I noticed a face on one of it's walls." Ramilla added."It was ugly and scary"
All of a sudden April remembered how June would scream if ever she was let in that room and the day of her passing away too became vivid before her.
"I floated away from you from that room...don't you remember Mama!' said Ramilla quietly.
April simply sprang up and held Ramilla tightly and said "Today... you're back from that long journey to nowhere...you were always with me...and so here, with me, you shall remain!' said April strongly.
Gearu Ram brought their tea and cookies and a glass of milk for Ramilla. Diving into platefull of cookies Ramilla asked "Tell me about Daddy Mama! What happened? ... Why he had to leave us?"
April too thought that the time was fast approaching to speak her heart out to her Baby but she needed to compile her thoughts well which meant some more time, so she said 'Sure, I will... but not today...someday later"
That night, as April lay in bed, Henery's face became vivid and live before her, again. Ever since he left, she had thought of him every passing day. She knew how he was and what sort of life he was leading! But,somehow that night, she wanted to stay away from visiting those bygone days.
"Not now..visit me later!" She pushed those thoughts away.
"Why listen to those moments of vanished beats! Why think of times that slipped out like sand dust! June has been returned to me, why not celebrate this eternal reunion! Why not make a fresh start and live life anew! But, June's question has to be answered...and answered well! I'll do it someday, perhaps?.not now... and that's for sure! Distant silhouette no more appear to be distant, for they lie in her!.Oh yes, they do! Stop thumping so hard, my heart, doesn't my Henery live in my June!"
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