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Deja Vu

Short Story by Sebin Mathew

I need not tell you the feeling of living the moment of your life once again, be it to last only for 10 to 15 seconds. But yes, you know what I am talking about. You have experienced it! Maybe on your way back home from office or laughing with your friends in the local pub with the same drink in your hands or even while watching the evening news. But is it real? Can’t blame you, even scientists are debating the truth behind it. You even enjoy it while it lasts, gives you a feeling of supernatural power, ability to manipulate time and memory, a harmless persona. Is it though really!

Let me just adjust my glasses first lest the broken shards puncture my eyes. Its dark but I can see the faint grayish outline of my spectacles. The recently cracked and sharp edges glisten in the faint light, peeping in from the slot beneath the door. The 2:00 AM alarm had just awakened me. The room is sharper now. I could see the outline of the guitar hung up in the bedroom corner. Can’t help smiling thinking about the ways I practiced guitar just to play a song at the very least. Now it is just a symbol reminding me that music was never in my genes. I hear a distant gurgle from downstairs. Think it’s time!
Anyways, as I was saying, the feeling is mutual; or rather I must take mine a step further. You see, it started normal for me too. A rare occurrence now and then, but then the frequency increased. One time I swear I had spilled my coffee across my pant but then the next moment found the cup sitting neat on the table. The stains on my pant proved otherwise. I have even been mugged. Well it was kind of my fault and didn’t turn out great for me; ended up in the hospital for a stab in my abdomen. It was a close call. I shouldn’t have taken that alley even when I knew how it would turn out. But I had to confirm you see. The digital clock on the night stand reads 2:07 AM. I actually suffer from Lagophthalmos; well it means I don’t close my eyes completely while sleeping. It might be the reason I get much frequent visions. Yes I know, I don’t buy it either. Better take a leak; swiping my hand across the night stand, I grab the revolver and walk towards the bedroom door.
I open the door, the smoke had cleared out to some extent, but still the lights from downstairs were casting some weird shapes through the smoke. I reach the bathroom across the narrow semi dark passage and close the door behind me. Turn on the light switch but the light does not come on. Damn LED bulbs; they don’t last long as one is told about. I reach for my mobile and turn on the flashlight instead. Seeing my shadowy reflection in the mirror, half baked in the yellow tinge of light, I see the maroon streak of dried and flaky blood on my forehead and down my left cheek.
I dunked my head in the basin filled with cold water, helped me to forget everything for a moment. Later I head downstairs to the massive hall. The smoke has cleared considerably. I shouldn’t have put the plastic covers along with the documents in the fire place. I head to the door on the far left. It reads Dr. Philip Budding. I go in and turn on the light. Not bad for a consulting room that just witnessed a massive struggle. The glass tea table remained shattered in the center. In the chaise longue sat Dr Philip himself. I guess even he was tired for he was in deep sleep. I tapped his shoulder; he slowly opened his eyes and turned towards me revealing the deep cut on his cheek; good the blood had clotted.
“l will uncover your mouth doc, but you must promise not to create any ruckus.”
He nodded. I removed his own shawl from around his mouth.
“You are strong doc, for your stature. Sorry about that cut. Hope you slept well. The power nap certainly helped me. You see I didn’t sleep well last night, was excited about our session today. So, shall we start again doc.”
He looked at the revolver in my hand. “Don’t worry doc, I won’t use it unless required. You should keep these things locked up, not just lying around in your night stand drawer.”
“Listen!” He was getting worked up already. “You need to relax and just think about what you are doing.”
“Relax!” Now I was getting agitated. “You brought all this on yourself. You lied to me doc. You led me to this.” I stretched out my arms and he saw my blood stained sweatshirt. “I didn’t ask for all of this. You think I am a fool. You think I don’t know what you are trying to pull here.”
He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. After a moment of silence “I apologize, doc.” Taking a deep breath to calm myself I sat down on a stool right next to the doctor’s chair. “I had come today with high hopes from you doc but all you wanted was for me to do more of your tests and that’s why I snapped; didn’t really mean to harm you. I did all you asked for, all your stupid exercises. You promised your methods would help me out with my powers.”
“And it will.” Doc exclaimed trying to break free of the bed sheets that tied him to the chair. “That is what I have been trying to help you with. I needed to verify the facts from all your tests. You have to give me time.”
“Time is what I don’t have doc. I am a joke out there. The world thinks I am a lunatic. Your tests have proved nothing. I destroyed all my records that I could find. Look what you made me do to my arm.” I pulled up my sleeve to reveal a healing wound in shape of a fish. “With you by my side I could have proved it to the world. I…no we could have exacted revenge on them together like you promised, on all those who humiliated me.”
“And we will. Listen untie me and we can have a nice warm coffee and work it out.”
“I thought you were the only one who understood me. I looked up to you as a friend. I actually liked you doc.”
I took a deep breath again and looked down at the fine piece of craftsmanship in my hands. I feel nonchalant now, my body composed. I could see my life flashing before my eyes. I slowly lifted the shinning metal and pointed it towards doc. “You think I don’t realize that you would call the cops on me after all this! You would get me arrested and send me away for good.”
“Wait! Wait! Nothing will happen. I won’t tell anything!” he screamed.
I cocked the revolver at him.
“Killing me won’t help you, no one can! You would still be a stooge out there, a victim of your own folly.”
I lowered the gun. He heaved a sigh of relief. What he told was actually true. This would not help me. Minutes went by but felt like hours. Somewhere down the hall the clock chimed three times.
“You know doc, you are right. There is no end to all of this. No one can help me.”
I looked him in the eye “At times doc I wish I could turn back the clock and bring the wheels of time to a stop.”
I raised the revolver again and pressed the muzzle against my temple and squeezed on the trigger but not before I saw a hint of smile on the doctor’s face.